Blurb:
“If opposites attract, then
I am nothing. Because you, you are everything.”
There’s no easy road traveled to such an intense sentiment, one I never dreamt I’d feel…
But I also never planned on Cannon Blackwell climbing aboard my tour bus.
There’s no easy road traveled to such an intense sentiment, one I never dreamt I’d feel…
But I also never planned on Cannon Blackwell climbing aboard my tour bus.
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Meet Conner, aka Bubs, Lizzie’s older brother...a very
special character who will tug at your heart and humble you as you unfold his
mystery.
“Jarretttttt, I’m home!” Conner screeches the minute the
door to the tour bus opens, his poor fish ricocheting off the sides of the bags
from his exuberant shaking. I’m unsure why he always calls out for Jarrett
first, the boys both equally good to him, both in our lives the exact same
amount of time. I wonder if Rhett ever asks himself the same thing, or if it
hurts his feelings? Knowing Rhett like I do, the answer is undoubtedly yes.
“There he is!” Jarrett smiles, standing from the bench
seat to give him a hug. “We missed you, bud. You have a good time with your
dad?” He glances over Conner’s shoulder to me as he asks. He worries too, after
living through it all right by my side.
“Ask if he saw Alma,” I mouth.
“Did you see Miss Alma today, buddy?” he questions
casually, my jaw clenched tight as I wait for the answer.
“Yes, she loves me. Bethy too.” My brother can contain it
no longer, already over any conversation not about his pets. “See my fish?” He
shoves the bags in Jarrett’s face. “The red one’s yours. You can name it if you
want.”
Still behind them observing, I roll my hand, wanting
Jarrett to confirm specifics. He winks, reading me like a book. “Awesome fish,
dude, we’ll put them in a bowl in a sec. What’d Alma make you to eat today?”
“Grilled cheese. Rhett, Bruce the Moose, I’m home!”
Jarrett and I both chuckle at Conner’s clear dismissal of any further banter.
He says he saw her, and he’s back with me now, seemingly unharmed, so I guess
all’s well enough for me to move on.
Jarrett leans in to conspire in his ear. “Your uncle ran
to town, but Rhett’s in bed, go wake him up.”
Such a shit, sending Conner to do his dirty work.
Once he’s bouncing down the hallway to torture anyone
in the vicinity, Jarrett sits back down and pats the spot beside him for me to
take. “How bad this time?”
I flop my head on his shoulder, letting him entwine our
fingers. “Not too. Short and bitterly sweet.” I tilt my head and grin
mischievously up at him. “I got in a few good jabs.”
“I’d expect no less.”
“I didn’t see Alma, though, which worries me. I just wish
Conner wouldn’t ask to go. I wish he’d remember why he shouldn’t want to
go.”
“You sure about that? Maybe it’s better that he doesn’t
remember. There’s a lot of bad shit stuck in my head I wish I could forget, ya feel
me?” He squeezes my hand and brushes a kiss at my temple.
In a way he’s right, I don’t want Bubs to have those
visions in his head, waking him up at night, confusing him. But without his
recollection, and him saying it out loud, I can’t ever prove what I know
to be true. And therefore, I can’t keep him from our father. It’s never ending,
these thoughts, the internal debates on the lesser of two evils. It’s
exhausting.
Conner played soccer and football from youth to high
school; our father didn’t attend a single game. He was in a garage band for
almost three years; Daddy Demon never heard a single song. He didn’t give a shit about Conner before the
accident, which I’d bet my left tit was far from an accident,
but now he’s hell bent on playing house with a twenty-seven-year-old man he
barely even knows? I haven’t figured it out, but I will.
My thoughts are splintered by a nasally shriek. “Get out,
you retarded freak! What the fuck is wrong with you?”
I’m on my feet and down the corridor in a flash, Jarrett
hot on my heels.
“Bubs? Bubs, what happened?” I ask as calmly as I can,
dropping to my knees and wrapping my arms around him. He’s curled into a ball
on the floor, rocking back and forth and banging clenched fists against his
head. “Conner, stop,” I command, trying to restrain his arms, gasping in
piercing pain when I catch his accidental elbow to the jaw. Always the damn
elbow. “Shit,” I howl, shaking my
head and rubbing it quickly before going back in. “Jarrett, help me! Rhett!”
They’re already there, caught in the flurry of commotion,
one of them now flinging me out of the way so they can stop Conner from hurting
himself. This time it’s my back, a sharp blow knocking the air from me as I’m
tossed aside, landing against the edge of a bunk. I’ve gotten pretty tough over
the years, so I take the moment to ignore the back and rub on my jaw some more,
working out the ache.
Cami, our bassist and the one who’d set this catastrophe
in motion, scrambles down and out of her top bunk, pulling a t-shirt over herself.
“Liz, you can’t expect us to live like this! Your pervy fucking brother was
creeping on me again. I don’t care what the hell’s wrong with him, I have a
right to privacy!”
You live on a tour bus with four men, sleep nude, and
have an expectation of privacy? Anyone else think that train of thought is
asinine? Not my job to show her the
light, though, that epic fail is all on the fools who raised her “cry wolf when
convenient” exhibitionist ass. Helluva job. But more importantly, I
haven’t the time or energy to waste on the about to be ex-member; I have
to take care of my brother, the innocent, precious soul she name-called and
scared to death.
Rising slowly to stand nose to nose with her, I
concentrate on my breathing as a source of center, reminding myself the last
thing Conner needs to see is violence. How badly he reacts to it,
over-exaggerated even for him, is one of the biggest reasons I suspect foul
play that summer I went to camp. If I dust this bitch right now, I’ll make
things worse for an already petrified Bubs.
It’s this concern alone that saves her life. Otherwise,
I’d have already mopped the floor with her and made her like it. “Cami, what’s
wrong with you? He didn’t mean a thing by it.”
“I’m sick of it! I’ve bit my tongue long enough. ‘Nobody
upset the retard’ gets old,” she air quotes snottily, testing everything in me
not to lower those hands for her. “He’s always spying on me. I almost think
he’s faking it just to get a peep show!”
Yes, that is exactly it, diva. He’s been faking it for seven
long years in hopes of one day getting a glimpse of your uneven mosquito bites.
Way to go, Cami the Case Cracker!
I literally have to take a minute and simply stare at her
for my brain to compute such venomous hatred coming out of nowhere. Cami’s lived
on this bus with Conner for months. I’ve even seen her help him with his
puzzles a time or two, so the level of animosity pouring from her now is
shocking and completely unexpected.
“He was looking for Rhett, you delusional, heartless
bitch. He wanted to show off the new fish he got and mixed up the bunks.” My
voice cracks and I gulp down the threatening sob, a cumbersome bubble in the
middle of my throat. “But luckily, Conner isn’t doomed. He’ll be fine in a few
minutes, still an angel. You,” I take a step in, crunching her toes
under my own and making sure to curl my lip and bare my teeth, “however, are
screwed for life. There’s no hope for the kind of evil inside you and I’m only
sorry I didn’t see it sooner. Ugly and mean to the core is no way to go through
life, Cami. I’d pick the way Conner does it over yours any day of the week. Now
pack your shit, next stop is yours.”
“You can’t be serious! You’re kicking me out of the band,
whose only chance in hell is me, because I don’t want some freak staring at my
tits?”
“Jarrett?” I plead, flexing my fists in and out, praying
for willpower I don’t usually possess.
“On it.” He inches himself between us. “Get your shit
together, Cami, you’re out. And shut the fuck up while you do it. I don’t hit
women, but you call him another name and I’ll damn sure smack a bitch.”
“You can’t just dump me, I don’t have a car!
Unbelievable,” she scoffs.
“And your tits aren’t.” Jarrett scores one for the
whole team. “But we’ll take you where you need to go. We have some
decorum.”
While he stands guard over her, I move to the front of
the bus where Rhett’s corralled Conner. Squatting down in front of him, I pry
his hands away from over his face. “Hey, look at me.”
“S-sorry, Sister,” he chokes out in a trembling voice.
“What are you sorry for, huh? Being amazing, kind, and
good lookin’? Being a winner? Cause that’s what you are!” He doesn’t answer me,
burying his face behind Rhett’s shoulder. “What’s the rule, Conner?” I jostle
his leg. “Huh? Tell me the rule.”
Still shaken and ashamed, he doesn’t answer, so I do it
for him. “You win and every other motherfucker loses, right?”
“Right,” he grunts from his hiding spot, Rhett rubbing
his back and smiling at me.
“Who’s the winner?”
“I’m the winner.” He peeks one eye out at me. Precious.
How could anyone ever be mean to that face; those huge, innocent eyes,
filled with unconditional love, and those sweet dimples?
“You’re damn right you are.” I hop up, grabbing his hand
to raise his arm triumphantly in the air. “Ladies and gentlemen, boy and girls,
Conner Matthew Carmichael is the winner!”
The boys clap and hoot while Cami rolls her eyes and
continues to stuff shit in her duffle. Now Conner beams ear to ear, all again
right with the world.
“I’m keeping her fish,” he boasts and we all die laughing.
S.E. Hall is the author of the Amazon Best
Selling Evolve Series, Emerge, Embrace, Entangled (novella) and Entice as well
as the bestselling stand-alone NA Romance, Pretty Instinct. She also co-wrote
Stirred Up, an erotic short story with her CP and friend, Author Angela Graham
and is honored to be a part of the USA Today and NYT Best Selling Devour box
set. S.E., which stands for Stephanie Elaine, resides in Arkansas with her
husband of 18 years and 3 beautiful daughters of the home, and one married
daughter who graced her with two beautiful grandchildren. When not in the
stands watching her ladies play softball, she enjoys reading and writing and
the occasional trip to the casino. She's also clutch at Baggo, when it's warm
outside, and definitely the woman to pick on your side for some Flip Cup!
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